I’ve packed a huge amount of information into the pages of this guide. Not only are there hundreds of safety tips to help you have fun without getting hurt (or hurting others), but there’s also a whole bunch of ideas and checklists to help you explore new ways to play, have fun and explore your sexuality.

On top of that you’ll find an honest, no-nonsense account of what it’s like to be part of the scene, online or off. This is the really valuable part – as once you’ve made your way into the community you’ll find that you have a whole host of resources to draw from as you explore further.

This guide is designed to shatter the elitism of the BDSM community, and open it up so that it becomes something everyone can explore and use to enrich their lives. On top of that, crucially, it tells the truth. You’re probably used to seeing the glossy, overdone version of BDSM that constantly crops up in the media and in films. Well, this guide will actually tell you the truth, and let you know what it’s really like.

We’ll start off with some basics. I’ll tell you what BDSM is, and then take a close look at Fifty Shades Of Grey. Why that book in particular? Well, it’s intensely popular – and so it’s probably the first exposure many people will have had to BDSM as an idea or a lifestyle. It’s also a terrible, terrible book, which gets almost everything completely wrong. If you tried to use Fifty Shades as your guide to this wonderful new world, you’d more than likely come completely unstuck.

I’ll show you why Fifty Shades gets it so drastically wrong. Then I’ll go over how you can get it right.

You’ll find out the secret of how to introduce kink to an existing relationship, or how to find a new one with all the kinky elements you’ve always dreamed of having. I’ll walk you through a full play session, letting you know exactly what to do before, during and after to ensure that you have a safe and pleasant time. I’ll give you specific safety tips for different activities – advice that I’ve spent years harvesting and gathering. We’ll talk about consent, hygiene, aftercare and all manner of other issues.

Then I’ll go over how to go about interacting with your local scene – how to meet people, how to make friends, and how to stand up for yourself should it be necessary. I’ll show you how to ensure that you keep your private life private and your public persona public… if that’s what you want to do!

Sound good? Let’s get started then. We’ll begin with something fairly straightforward – but it’s something that a surprising number of people even within the community simply don’t know. We’ll start with a definition. I’ve mentioned it at least a dozen times already, but what actually is BDSM?

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