- Abrasion – Sensation play with abrasive materials.
- Age Regression Play – Pretending to be younger than you are.
- Anal Sex – Receiving anal sex.
- Aphrodisiacs – Taking legal herbal / diet aphrodisiacs.
- Asphyxiation – Breath play. Having air supply controlled or cut off.
- Bastinado – Whipping or beating the soles of the feet.
- Bath / Shower – Sharing / having sex in the bath or shower.
- Bathroom Use Control – Having to get permission before using the bathroom.
- Begging – Begging to avoid punishment or for sex.
- Behaviour Modification – Erotic punishment as a way of modifying behaviour.
- Belt/Strap – Belts, straps or tawses as impact play tools.
- Biting – Being bitten.
- Blindfolds – Wearing a blindfold.
- Body Bags – Being contained within a body bag or sack.
- Boxing / Closeting – Being contained within a box or cupboard.
- Branding – Being branded / burned on soft tissue areas.
- Breast Bondage – Bondage involving compression or binding of the breasts.
- Breast Impact Play – Impact play on the breasts.
- Breast Torture – Pain inflicted on the breasts and nipples.
- Burned With Cigarettes – Being burned with a cigarette or threatened with same.
- Butt Plugs – Insertion and wearing of butt plugs
- Butt Plugs (Public) – Wearing a butt plug while out in public.
- Caging – Being put in a cage.
- Caning – Wooden canes as impact play tools.
- Captures – Aggressive bondage used to initiate a scene.
- Cattle Prod – Having a cattle prod or similar electric shock device used on you.
- Chains (Bondage) – Bondage using chains.
- Chains (Wearing) – Wearing chains for aesthetic / ornamental reasons.
- Chastity Belts – Wearing a chastity belt or device.
- Choking – Pressure on the neck from a hand, belt or similar.
- Clingfilm – Being wrapped in clingfilm as a method of bondage.
- Clothespins – Clothespins used for sensation play. Linked clothespins.
- Clothes – Being restrained using clothes. Scarves, ties, etc.
- Clothing choice – Being told what to wear.
- Cock Rings – Having sex whilst using a cock ring.
- Collar – Wearing a collar to denote position.
- Competition – Competing with another woman for attention.
- Corsets – Wearing a corset.
- Cowgirl Position – Having sex in cowgirl position.
- Crawling – Crawling on request.
- Crucifixion – Being suspended by rope as in a crucifixion.
- Cuffs (Bondage) – Using wrist or hand cuffs for bondage.
- Cuffs (Wearing) – Wearing handcuffs or wrist cuffs for aesthetic appeal.
- Cunnilingus (Giving) – Giving oral sex to another woman.
- Cunnilingus (Receiving) – Receiving oral sex.
- Cyber Domination – Being given orders by email or text.
- Deep Throating – Oral in which the penis is taken into the throat.
- Deep Throating Toys – Performing oral sex on toys in which they are taken into the throat.
- Doggy Position – Having sex in doggy position.
- Double Penetration (With Multiple Partners) – Being penetrated in two orifices at once, by multiple partners.
- Double Penetration (With Toy) – Being penetrated in two orifices at once, by a partner and a toy.
- Drinking – Drinking urine.
- Drugs – Taking illegal drugs to enhance the experience of sex.
- Duct Tape – Bondage or gagging using duct tape.
- Enemas (Cleansing) – Using an enema prior to anal sex.
- Enemas (Punishment) – Being given an enema as for erotic pleasure.
- Exhibitionism – Showing off your body or sexual abilities.
- Eye Contact Restriction – Being ordered to avoid eye contact or lower your gaze.
- Face Riding (Giving) – Giving oral to another woman while she kneels over your face.
- Face Riding (Receiving) – Receiving oral while kneeling over a partner’s face.
- Face Slapping – Being slapped in the face.
- Fear – Being frightened.
- Feathers – Feathers as an object / sensation.
- Fellatio – Giving oral.
- Fingering – Stimulation from fingers inserted into the vagina.
- Fingering (Giving To Female) – Stimulating another woman’s vagina and clitoris with your fingers.
- Finger Sucking – Sucking a partner’s fingers.
- Fire Cups – Glass cups that create suction. Used for sensation play.
- Fireplay – Play involving fire.
- Fisting (Vaginal) – Insertion of most of the hand into the vagina.
- Flogging – A flogger (soft or hard) used an impact play tool.
- Fluid Bonded Sex – Sex without a condom, including internal ejaculation.
- Following Orders – Being given orders.
- Food (Eaten During Sex) – Eating food during sex.
- Food (Sploshing) – Using food as part of play.
- Food Choice – Having a partner decide what food you will eat.
- Forced Exercise – Being ordered to exercise.
- Forced Masturbation – Being ordered to masturbate, in person or remotely.
- Forced Nudity (Private) – Being ordered to remove clothes while in a private setting.
- Forced Nudity (Public) – Being ordered to remove clothes in public / semi-public surroundings.
- Forced To Watch – Watching a partner have sex with another woman, without being permitted to join in.
- Full Head Hoods – Wearing a hood over your head.
- Gags – Ball gags, bit gags, cloth gags.
- Gang Bang (Assisting) – Assisting a number of men to use another woman for sex.
- Gang Bang (Main Recipient) – Being used by a number of men for sex.
- Gas Masks – Wearing a gas mask as a method of bondage.
- Genital Bondage – Bondage that incorporates the genitals.
- Genital Impact Play – Impact play on the genitals.
- Genital Torture – Pain inflicted on the genitals.
- Given Away (Friend) – Being given away temporarily for sexual purposes to someone you know.
- Given Away (Stranger) – Being given away temporarily for sexual purposes to someone you don’t know.
- Glory Hole (Being Used As) – Giving oral while restrained or blindfolded to men of a partner’s choosing.
- Gloves – Gloves as an object. Rubber gloves. Leather gloves. Silk gloves.
- Golden Showers – Being peed on.
- Grooming Choices – Following directions about how to groom yourself, and what you may do with your body.
- Group Sex – Having sex as part of a larger group.
- Gun Play – Play involving a gun.
- Hair pulling – Having your hair pulled.
- Hairbrushes – A hairbrush used as an impact play tool.
- Hand Job (Giving) – Giving a handjob.
- Hard Sex – Having hard / rough sex.
- Harem – Being part of a harem of women in a community or household.
- Harnesses – Wearing a harness of rope or leather.
- Headphone/Earplugs – Having your sense of hearing restricted.
- Horse – Straddling a bar as a form of crotch torture.
- Hot Oils – Hot oil being dripped or brushed onto your skin.
- Hot Wax – Having hot wax dripped onto your body.
- Housework – Doing housework on request.
- Humiliation (Private) – Being humiliated or degraded in a private setting.
- Humiliation (Public) – Being humiliated or degraded in a public setting.
- Ice (Exterior) – Being stimulated on the exterior of the body with an ice cube.
- Ice (Inserted) – Having an ice cube inserted into your body.
- Impact Play (Soft) – Softer impact play that tends more towards massage.
- Impact Play (Hard) – Hard, painful impact play.
- Incense / Aromatherapy – Burning incense or using aromatherapy oils during sex.
- Injections – Being injected with saline or pierced with needles.
- Interrogation – Interrogation role play scenarios.
- Kicking – Being kicked in the genitals prior to sex.
- Kitten Play – Pretending to be a kitten.
- Kneeling – Kneeling on command.
- Knife Play (Real) – Using the sharp part of a knife to cut your skin.
- Knife Play (Simulated) – Using the sharp part of a knife to provide sensation play.
- Labial Clip – Having clips applied to your labia.
- Latex / Rubber / Leather – Wearing or feeling latex, leather or rubber.
- Leashed – Wearing a leash or lead in private or in public.
- Lecturing – Being told off.
- Lead by Hair – Being lead around by your hair.
- Legal Documents – Signing a contract to relinquish power or authority.
- Lesbianism – Having sex with another woman of a partner’s choosing, for their entertainment.
- Lingerie – Wearing lingerie.
- Long Term Restraint – Being restrained in some way for hours, overnight or for several days.
- Mammary Sex – Having non-penetrative sex by contact between breasts and cock
- Manual stimulation – Stimulation of the clitoris with fingers.
- Masks – Wearing masks while having sex.
- Massage (Giving) – Giving a massage.
- Masturbation – Touching yourself.
- Medical Play – Play involving medical procedures and equipment.
- Menstrual Sex – Having sex while you are menstruating.
- Menstrual Sex (Giving) – Having sex with another woman while she is menstruating.
- Mental / Honour Bondage – Holding a position as though bound on command.
- Missionary Position – Having sex in the missionary position.
- Mummification – Being wrapped up as a form of bondage.
- Naked / Clothed – Being naked while your partner is clothed.
- Name Calling – Being called names and verbally abused.
- Name Change – Answering to a different name.
- Nipple Clamps – Having clamps applied to your nipples and weighted.
- Nipple Play – Having your nipples stimulated.
- Orgasm Control – Being trained to orgasm on command.
- Orgasm Denial – Having to gain permission before having an orgasm.
- Other Outdoor Activities – Taking part in bondage or other activities outdoors.
- Outdoor Sex – Having sex outdoors.
- Paddle – A paddle as an impact play took.
- Padlocks – Bondage controlled by a lock and key.
- Performing (Private) – Dancing / singing privately for me.
- Performing (Public) – Dancing / singing in public on request.
- Physical Examinations – Medical play examination.
- Pictures – Having pictures taken during sex or play. Exchanging pictures.
- Pinching – Having skin pinched or twisted.
- Pony Play – Pretending to be a pony or other pet animal.
- Poppers – Taking poppers before and during sex.
- Pornography – Watching pornography together.
- Prison Scenes – Pretending to be a prisoner.
- Prostitution – Pretending to be a prostitute. Being paid for sex on demand.
- Protocols – Learning and obeying protocols regarding your behaviour.
- Public (Discreet) – Having discreet sex in public.
- Public (Overt) – Having sex in public with the objective of being seen. Includes dogging.
- Public Bondage – Wearing bondage equipment under clothing in public.
- Punching – Being punched in the torso or abdomen.
- Punishment Scene – Role playing a punishment scene.
- Rape Fantasy – Role playing a rape scenario.
- Religious Scenes – Scenes involving a religious context.
- Riding Crops – A riding crop as an impact play tool.
- Ripping / Cutting Clothes – The ripping away or cutting away of clothes.
- Rope – Bondage using rope.
- Rope (Intricate) – Intricate bondage, mostly for ornamentation.
- Rope (Wearing) – Wearing rope over clothes in front of others.
- Scarification – Being permanently or semi-permanently scarred.
- Scratching – Being scratched with nails or another sharp object.
- Sensory Deprivation – Being deprived of several senses at once.
- Serving as Furniture / Artwork – Serving as an item of furniture or decoration on request.
- Serving Others – Serving and obeying orders of others (in a non-sexual context) on request.
- Servitude – Following orders and serving by fetching drinks, cleaning, etc.
- Sexual Denial – Being denied sex for a certain period of time.
- Shaving – Being shaved, or ordered to shave yourself.
- Silk Scarves – Silk scarves as a bondage tool.
- Sixty-Nine – Giving and receiving oral in the sixty-nine position.
- Sleep Deprivation – Being denied sleep.
- Sleeve Bondage – Having arms or legs bound tightly together.
- Smoking – Smoking during sex. Smoking while kissing.
- Spanking On All Fours – Being spanked while on all fours.
- Spanking OTK – Being held over the knee and spanked.
- Speculum – Having a speculum used on you.
- Speech Restrictions – Being forbidden to use certain words, or to speak at all.
- Spitting – Being spat on during sex.
- Spoons – Having sex in a spooning position.
- Spreader Bars – Use of spreader bars in bondage for arms or legs.
- Standing – Having sex while standing or bending over.
- Standing in Corner – Being made to stand in the corner facing the wall.
- Stocks – Being restrained in a set of stocks.
- Strait Jacket – Wearing a strait jacket.
- Strap-on/Dildos – Being penetrated by a strap on or dildo.
- Strappado Bondage – Bondage involving the arms bound together behind the back and raised.
- Stress Bondage – Being bound or restrained in positions that are painful to hold.
- Struggling – Struggling against bondage.
- Suspension – Being suspended by rope off the ground, partially or fully.
- Swallowing Semen – Swallowing after giving oral.
- Swings – Play involving a sling or swing.
- Symbolic Jewellery – Wearing symbolic jewellery, such as a collar or other.
- Talking Dirty (Giving) – Talking Dirty
- Talking Dirty (Receiving) – Being talked to.
- TENS Unit – Being electrocuted by a TENS unit.
- Threesome – Taking part in a threesome with two partners. MFF? MMF?
- Thumb Cuffs – Finger bondage or restraint.
- Tickling – Being tickled.
- Total Power Exchange – Shifting all power in the relationship to me.
- Toys Used Anally – Having toys used on you anally.
- Toys Used Orally – Having toys used on you orally.
- Toys Used Vaginally – Having toys used on you vaginally.
- Triple Penetration (Dildo) – Being penetrated in all orifices at once by a partner and various toys.
- Triple Penetration (Multiple Partners) – Being penetrated in all orifices at once by several partners.
- Uniforms – As an object / fetish.
- Unusual Dildos – Having unusually shaped toys used on you.
- Vibrators – Having a vibrator used on you.
- Video (Public) – Being recorded to show to others.
- Video (Private) – Being recorded for private viewing by a partner.
- Violet Wand – Being electrocuted by a violet wand.
- Voyeurism – Watching other people have sex.
- Webcam (Private) – Performing in front of a webcam for a partner.
- Webcam (Public) – Performing on request in front of a webcam for others.
- Whipping – Being whipped with a singletail whip.
- Whipping Post – Being tied loosely or securely to a post and whipped.
- Wrestling / Fighting – Wrestling or fighting as foreplay.
- Wrist To Ankle – Bondage that connects the wrists to the ankles, or ankles to neck.
CH 19: The BDSM and Kink Terms
Version 2.2
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CH 16: You don’t have to do anything
admin, , A Guide: Kink, BDSM, Fetish Dating and Hooking Up, BDSM, consent, Guide, KINK, S & M, Tips, 0
A this point I’d just like to take a little moment to say that you don’t have to do...
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CH8: SSC and RACK
admin, , A Guide: Kink, BDSM, Fetish Dating and Hooking Up, BDSM, BDSM and Fetish Dating Sites, Fetish, Guide, KINK, RACK, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, S & M, Safe Sane Consensual, SSC, Tips, 0
I’d like to take a moment here to introduce two acronyms that are common within the BDSM community. These...
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CH 21: Final Note
admin, , A Guide: Kink, BDSM, Fetish Dating and Hooking Up, aftercare, BDSM, BDSM and Fetish Dating Sites, consent, Fetish, KINK, RACK, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, S & M, Safe Sane Consensual, Tips, 0
One final note now, before I bring this guide to a close. This may seem like a counterintuitive thing...
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Ch 9: Safety Tips
admin, , A Guide: Kink, BDSM, Fetish Dating and Hooking Up, BDSM, Fetish, Guide, KINK, Knife play, RACK, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, S & M, Safe Sane Consensual, SSC, Tips, toys, 0
What follows is not an exhaustive selection of safety tips. If I were to try and list full safety...
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CH 7: Before you play
admin, , A Guide: Kink, BDSM, Fetish Dating and Hooking Up, BDSM, Fetish, Guide, KINK, S & M, Tips, 0
So you’ve now reached the very exciting point where you’ve found someone who is interested in playing with you...
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CH 15: Exploring various dynamics
admin, , A Guide: Kink, BDSM, Fetish Dating and Hooking Up, BDSM, Cleaning, Fetish, Guide, KINK, Tips, 0
Throughout this guide I’ve talked a lot about dominants and submissives. This is because, however you arrange your relationship,...
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CH 6: How To Find A New Relationship
admin, , A Guide: Kink, BDSM, Fetish Dating and Hooking Up, 50 Shades, BDSM, BDSM and Fetish Dating Sites, Fetish, Fetish Events, Guide, KINK, S & M, Tips, 0
The previous chapter is all well and good if you’re in an existing relationship, but what about if you’re...
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CH 3: Why get into BDSM?
admin, , A Guide: Kink, BDSM, Fetish Dating and Hooking Up, BDSM, Fetish, Guide, KINK, S & M, Tips, 0
To the average person who isn’t into BDSM (these people are sometimes called “vanilla” by people within the community)...
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