Accidents happen. That’s a fact of life and a fact of kink. If you play for long enough you are almost certain to have a session where something goes wrong. It might be something minor, like a velcro wrist cuff coming undone when it was not supposed to. Or it might be something a lot more serious, like a panic attack, or the main line snapping when suspending someone.

Though the risk of accidents such as these can, of course, be minimised, it can never be completely eliminated. If you do encounter an accident while playing, it is not necessarily an indication that you are a bad or unsafe kinkster – though if it happens in public there will almost certainly be people who will insinuate that you are.

What is important though, is to learn from accidents when they occur. For something to go wrong once is unfortunate – but for the same thing to go wrong two or more times is entirely avoidable. Whenever something goes wrong – even if it is something minor – it is a wise move to think carefully about what happened, and work out whether there was any way it could have been prevented. You may need to talk honestly and openly with your partner about what happened in order to get a clear perspective. Don’t be shy about doing so. It is not an admission of weakness or wrongness to interrogate your mistakes.

And if you do find that there was some reasonable way in which an accident could have been prevented, consider enacting this measure whenever you play in a similar fashion in the future. And consider also writing about it. By sharing your experiences (FetLife is a good forum in which to do this) you can reduce the risk of people making the same mistake or suffering the same misfortune that you did – thus making the community as a whole a safer place.

You may well get some flak from the more ignorant members of the community for having made a mistake in the first place – but just remember that they are not perfect, and will almost certainly at some stage have made equally bad mistakes. By sharing with the community, by changing your routine, and by learning from the experience you are doing the strong and decent thing.

Finally, never trust anyone who insists that they have never made a mistake. It is either almost certainly untrue, or indicates that they have played so little and have such dangerous overconfidence in their abilities that they are a risk even to themselves. Strong and trustworthy people are not afraid of admitting that they are human also.


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